Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
