Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
