real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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