you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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