Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
