turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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