Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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