So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
