You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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