Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
