i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
