U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
