do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
