so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
