he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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