If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
