I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
