Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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