yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
