just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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