Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
