Can Purell be used as lube?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
