Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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