I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
