i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
