Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
