Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
