How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
All I want is dick and wine.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize