Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
