My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
