Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
