I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
