It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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