so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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