then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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