How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
