He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize