maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i think my cat just said my name.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
