I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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