remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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