so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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