Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
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