I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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