she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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