Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize