Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
