i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
