He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
