For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
