I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize