is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
