are you still at the devil's house?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
