carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize