Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
