YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I touched a dick in church today
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
