I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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