So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
