at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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