I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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