Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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