haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
