i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
