I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
