The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
