Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Fuck appropriateness.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
